Love

Finally, I've summoned enough courage to write about what is perhaps the most important -- yet also the most difficult -- topic that anyone can write about: Love.

You may wonder what love has to do with success. Or in the famous words sung by Tina Turner: "What's love got to do with it?"

A great deal, as I'll explain later on.

For now, let me submit an idea for your consideration: There is an intimate yet intricate relationship between true love and true self.

"True self" is when a person has become one with his or her own nature. A saint is a good example. There are also great artists and scientists and writers who have become one with their true nature or their ideal self.

"True love," in this discussion, refers to the true romantic love between a man and a woman. I would even say that it is a man merging with a woman at three levels: physical, emotional and spiritual.

The relationship between true love and true self can be bluntly expressed in these terms:

1. Finding your true self will help you find true love
2. True love (from another person who has become his/her true self) will help you find your true self

Here's an analogy to help you to see how it works. Imagine that a man and a woman are the two pillars supporting a temple. In case #1, a person has found his true self and therefore has become a solid pillar. If he enters into a relationship, he is more likely to be a "teacher" of love than the woman, who may be struggling to find herself. Of course, it's equally possible that the woman is the one who is more solid, as a pillar, than the man, in which case she is the "teacher" of love.

In case #2, an unstable or confused person may stumble upon a relationship in which the other person, by virtue of having found her true self, acts as a "teacher" of love.

Note: by "teacher," I don't mean someone who lectures or teaches lessons. I mean someone who shines through personal example. A phrase in the Bible captures that idea: "I have not come to teach you, but to love you. Love itself will teach you."

Of course, the two cases above are rather extreme. There will be a wide range of situations. However, in all relationships, one person will likely be the teacher of love while the other is a student. The roles might be reversed as time goes by.

What's important is to discern the impact that a relationship has on one's self-esteem or self-concept. For instance, if a man doesn't treat a woman right, and she doesn't feel respect from him, that cannot be a good relationship.

Such a relationship will eventually lead her very far from her true self. And anything we do in life that is not firmly grounded in who we truly are, is bound to fail.

The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote that young people often make the mistake of expecting too much from love. So when things don't turn out as they wish, they are tragically crushed by the sad ending of their romance. Rilke concluded that love is like a masterpiece that takes a lifetime to create.

I would add that love of self is much more important than romantic love. In fact, as you know already, if a person is incapable of loving herself, she cannot possibly love another person.

That's because loving essentially means giving yourself to the other person. But if you are not in possession of yourself, then you have nothing to give.

The next question is, "Is it necessary to find one's true self before one can find true love?"

My theory is that in every human being, from age 18 to age 70 or beyond, there is a spark of truth. If the person focuses on this spark of truth or this seed of selfhood, she will be on the right path. Being on the right path means she is growing to become her authentic self.

On such a path, it is far more likely that she will find and experience true love in a relationship with a man. Similarly, a man who's on the path to becoming his true self, will find it easier to find his true love. There won't be any unnecessary drama or tragedy attached to such a truthful pursuit of love.

Let's now answer the question, "What's love got to do with success?"

As I tried to explain above, when a person finds her true self, she is, as it were, in possession of a great treasure. So it feels natural for her to give away her treasure to other people. She feels the natural urge to share her abundant love which comes forth from within.

On the other hand, a person who is not aligned with her true self, will feel deprived and thus will not feel inclined to give love or even friendship to other people. It's not that she's selfish or egotistical; she simply has nothing to give. This makes it very hard for her to succeed at work.

Since she doesn't give to others, she is unlikely to make many friends, and so she lives in a universe where affection is denied to her. She is trapped in a vicious cycle where emotional energy is drained from her. Of course, all is not lost. It will get to a point where it becomes so obvious that she is in deep trouble that someone -- usually a person who has a lot of love to give -- will generously offer to help.

My point is that success in life, in one's career, in business, etc. seems to require two things:

1. Find your true self (or at least, the spark of truth within you, and cultivate it; for example, my spark of truth comes from contemplative practice or meditation or reading books. I don't often watch TV or read newspapers because I don't think I will find any truth about myself in those mass media).

2. Surround yourself with people who will help you to feel better about yourself. On that note, I highly recommend Tom Rath's latest book, Vital Friends. He describes 8 types of "vital friends" who can really help you and support you as you engage on the path of personal and professional growth.

How to find your Sweet Economic Spot

This diagram is very useful for helping you to find your "sweet economic spot," that is, the special space where you are uniquely qualified to CREATE VALUE and where, in return, you get paid very well for it.

First, understand that money comes from value, and value comes from client needs. Client needs are represented by the green circle.

Next, realize that value is created where your capabilities intersect or overlap with the client's need. It is just amazing how many entrepreneurs go into business without knowing clearly what client need they are serving!

Lastly, understand that in a capitalistic, free-market system, lethal and relentless competition is the norm and indeed the only constant. Competition here is represented by the purple circle.

As can be logically expected, competitors will try to encroach upon your "economic sweet spot" zone.

I should point out that this analysis is not just for business organizations. In today's economy, every person -- from the receptionist to the CEO -- is in business for himself/herself.

Therefore, we all have to carefully define the client need we are fulfilling, and we also have to carefully monitor our competitors and their evolving offerings.

12 success principles

In the above diagram, you can see Napoleon Hill's 12 success principles.

What I did was to use an arrow to indicate how one principle positively affects another principle.

For example:

• The more decisions you make, the greater persistence and determination you will have.
  
• The more you organize and plan, the greater will be your faith in yourself and in your project or business.
• The more specialized knowledge you acquire, the faster you will make decisions (they will be of better quality too)
• The more precise and well defined your goals are, the more imagination you will activate to generate the creative tactics enabling you to reach your goals.

It's important to think carefully about all these "inter-principlar relationships" because they work together to create synergy at three levels of your being: at the emotional, intellectual and physical levels.

In the next post, I'll write in detail about each of these 12 success principles.

Don't be fooled by Internet business schemes

http://www.arealopportunityforwealth.com/

If you visit the above site, you can learn a great deal about how business works (or doesn't).

Now I don't know Cynthia and I'm sure she's a very nice lady, but if I actually use my brain to evaluate the opportunity she's offering, I would not say it's a good business opportunity. This doesn't mean it's not legitimate. It just means that there are too many "X" factors (unknowns) and, therefore, a rational person cannot make an informed decision.

This being said, her arguments AGAINST franchises and buying a brick and mortal business are sound enough. Few people have the capital to buy a franchise or an existing business.

But like I said, she leaves too much to the imagination. In fact, she uses too many pictures of herself in nice locations to excite people's imagination. This is a typical trick to get people to forget about "rational thinking." It's used in advertising all the time.

If I were to compete against her, I would mention these facts about my business:

The last workshop I gave generated $500 in revenues, and took place at Centre St-Pierre: http://www.centrestpierre.org. You can even see the cost of location of the rooms (the one we used cost $60, for 12 seats): http://www.centrestpierre.org/X79/pages/page50.html

I also teach a business workshop for entrepreneurs, and details can be found at http://businessmodelworkout.blogspot.com. Tyark.com, CEFQ.ca, and three other colleges are clients of mine and Zoonie, my sister and business partner. I also gave a strategic planning seminar at McGill University and graduated from the same university with Distinction in 1999 (BCom with specialization in B2B marketing).

Anyways, my point is that if you're recruiting people, it's best to provide the STRAIGHT FACTS. Treat people as rational beings who can think for themselves. Similarly, if you're looking for business opportunities, check the facts.

Don't trust anyone who talks about a "system" without showing you that system or explaining how it works. Often, the "system" is just a "marketing system" used to persuade irrational (or desperate) people who want to escape from the corporate rat race.

Are you king or pawn?

A little known secret is that I have an army of over 1,000 employees worldwide who work for me.

An even lesser known secret is that YOU, too, have such an army of 1,000 employees working for you.

Most people are not aware of this totally awesome and insane fact, and this is why they struggle in life. They don't understand that there are over 1,000 talented professionals and managers working FOR them.

Another secret, perhaps more frightening, is that there are 1,000,000 people working AGAINST you. Every day, they plan and plot and conspire to make you FORGET about your goals and especially forget about your sovereign power over yourself, your life, your destiny.

Once again, most people are NOT aware of the 1,000,000+ people who are working every day to rob them of their focus and power.

In other words, 95% of people don't know WHO is working FOR them and WHO is working AGAINST THEM.

The strange thing is that a person who is working FOR me, could be working AGAINST you. And vice versa: someone who is working FOR you, could be working AGAINST me.

Okay, I think I've created enough suspense so let me explain what I mean before you go bonkers!

The 1,000 employees who work for me are authors. They write books (NOT newspapers or magazines).

They did research for YEARS and then spent at least one year putting down on paper the BEST of their research. In most cases, their books are so well written and organized that if given the choice between spending an evening TALKING to them or spending an evening READING their books, I would choose the latter (no offense to their personal charm and charisma, of course). I choose to read their thoughts because their books are likely to transfer their knowledge to me much more efficiently than if I were to have a conversation with them.

Here are some of my best "employees": Peter Drucker, Mack Hanan, Anthony Robbins, Robert Allen, Robert Kiyosaki, Tom Peters, Shoshana Zuboff, Edward de Bono, Adrian Slywotzky, James Martin, Tim Sanders, Baltasar Gracian, Richard Worzel, Richard Samson, Mihaly (author of Flow - the psychology of optimal experience), Robert Greene, Wayne Dyer, Ray Kurzweil, Steven Pinker, Brian Tracy, Tom Hopkins, David Schwartz, Michael Cunningham, Larry Smith, Don Tapscott, Jay Abraham, Rich Schefren, Abraham-Hicks, Marianne Williamson, Sun Tzu, George Friedman, etc.

These people are truly the BEST in their field. (Hey, I only "hire" the best!).

In my subjective, private universe, they come to me and kneel down while uttering, with deep respect and reverence: "Super Peter, my sovereign lord! I have diligently worked hard over the last few years to compress the best of my knowledge into a book that I hereby offer for consideration by your sacred consciousness. Please accept my humble offering which I hope can help you realize your dream of mastering the universe."

The bottom line is aptly summarized by a Spanish proverb: "After the game of life is over, both the king and the pawn return to the same box."

In other words, you can CHOOSE to be a king or a pawn in this life. What you choose to be matters a great deal to you, for your supreme choice will preemptively and programmatically DETERMINE the kind of life you will have.

Whether you choose to be a wealthy and powerful king, or a struggling and powerless pawn, is totally up to you. Nobody can make that choice for you.

Even if my closest friends or dearest relatives chose to be mere pawns, there is nothing I can do for them. I can only offer the opportunity to make a choice, and clarify for them the escalatory destiny that inevitably comes from such a choice. ("Escalatory" in the sense that once you make a step in one direction, it will get easier and easier to "slide" down that path. In other words, if you choose to be king, you will find it easier and easier to think, feel and act like a king. If you choose to be a powerless pawn, you will attract (by virtue of your supreme choice of who to be) more and more of the events, people and "coincidences" that will make it easier and easier to become MORE of a pawn).

Summary: Identity is Destiny.

In other words, identity (your mostly unconscious belief about whether you are a ruling king (or queen) or a submissive pawn) is more powerful than the force of gravity.

Your identity continually and relentlessly attracts to yourself all the elements (people, events, things, etc.) that will REINFORCE your chosen identity.

Upcoming posts:

- How do I know whether I'm a pawn or a king?
- How to make the transition from pawn to king
- Who are the 1,000,000 people who oppose my ascension to the throne?
- What is "personal history" and how does it impede my personal growth?
- How do I increase the spaciousness of my "present" in order to feel free to make empowering and sovereign choices?

Become a teacher and you will master your life

Dear Peter,

Here's my advice for you. Carry an MP3 recorder with you at all times, and record your best ideas and knowledge as they occur to you. Then, email the audio file to a $6-an-hour transcription specialist in India so he/she can produce a PDF ebook for you.

Next, offer that ebook at $20 to your 800+ connections on Linkedin. Enable the first 50 buyers to get a BONUS: a 30-minute consulting session on the phone with you.

Notice that if 800 people buy your ebook at $20, then you've made $16,000. Through Lulu or Payloadz, that income is passive (that is, automated).

Since the generation of that income is automatic, you can spend most of your time every day just daydreaming or identifying the thoughts that are blocking you from imagining better and better things in life to experience. Indeed, you may not be aware of these thoughts, but they are present nevertheless in your conscious AND subconscious mind, and they preemptively stop you from thinking about the best things you can have and experience in life.

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The above fictitious letter which I wrote to myself, is a success secret I'd like to share with you.

Basically, the secret technique is about giving your best advice to yourself. As you write FOR yourself, you will realize that the information (the best information you have) is ALSO useful to other people.

I've been doing this for over two years with this blog. I write basically for myself, and as I focus relentlessly on "sharing" the best knowledge I have with myself, I naturally become useful to other people.

This is how I'm continually invited by people on Linkedin: I constantly provide useful answers on Linkedin Answers, and people write to me saying that they appreciate the knowledge and therefore would like to connect to me.

Developing and marketing one's knowledge is the EASIEST and FUNNEST way to financial freedom and true empowerment in life.

At this point, many people (and you are probably one of them) will say, "Well, Peter, I don't have much knowledge to share. What can I write about?"

First of all, let's backtrack. Let's not focus on the writing process per se. Let's take a look at how you view yourself.

Like most people, you've gone through the educational system (that's about 12 years of your life, at least) and so, you've been CONDITIONED to think that you know nothing, and that you're supposed to just sit there and "receive" the knowledge coming from a teacher.

So in your adult life, you have retained the same habit, except that the classroom has become your own living room (where the sofa, evidently, is much more comfortable than the wooden chairs in any classroom). Plus, you have the remote control so you feel a bit in control of what's coming to your mind.

But basically, you act like you're STILL a student whose mind is empty and who's waiting to be spoon fed bits and pieces of information.

The moment your entire life turns around is when you say, "Enough is enough! From now on, I will USE my knowledge and TEACH my knowledge! I will become a teacher and no longer a student!"

This is what happened to Eben Pagan, T. Harv Eker, Robert Kiyosaki and, of course, Anthony Robbins.

Indeed, the way to riches is to TEACH. When you teach, the most important person you are teaching is YOURSELF.

Teaching gives you a sort of self-confidence that is absolutely UNMATCHED by any other activity. It is this very self-confidence that allows you to think bold thoughts and pursue bold courses of action.

Of course, you can't switch from being a 100% student to a 100% teacher.

But you can change the mix, that is, become 95% student and 5% teacher. Then, 90% student and 10% teacher.

The worst case scenario, of course, is when a person is 0% student and 0% teacher!

This is the case with people who watch television or surf the Net (or Facebook) or shop around, without reading any non-fiction books. Magazines do not contain useful knowledge, although some business magazines contain ideas that can stimulate your thinking.

You cannot possibly be a student if you don't read books.

So without reading books or highly credible and informative blogs (like this one), you are 0% student and 0% teacher.

If this is your situation, then you know now the source of all your troubles in life.

Knowledge is indeed power, and if you're not a student who's gaining knowledge, then you go through life as a powerless person -- a victim to any circumstance coming his/her way.

By the way, this is why I created PowerKnowledge.net with my brother Joe: to empower people all over the world by sharing the BEST knowledge that I've come across from reading over 800 books. (And I continue to read about half a dozen books every week).

Act, right now, exactly like the ideal person you want to be in five years

Someone posted an interesting question on Linkedin and I thought I'd share my answer with you here.

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What would you do for a Career or Job if you KNEW you would not fail? What is stopping you from doing this very job or career?

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This is a very interesting question and I think it points to an important truth: there is no "future" out there.

Life can only be lived in the present moment. So if there's something a person wants to do, he/she should start doing it right now. If it is materially impossible, then start THINKING and FEELING, right now, like the kind of person who would be doing that kind of work.

IBM founder Thomas Watson used a similar psychological liberation device or method. He encouraged people to visualize, in great detail, the ideal person they wanted to become in 3 years, and to start ACTING, THINKING, FEELING, DRESSING UP, WALKING, READING, ETC. precisely like that ideal person in three years.

I've discovered recently that what this accomplishes is that it reduces the gap between a person's DESIRE and her BELIEF (usually, her master belief has to do with who she thinks she is, or her "self-concept").

So by acting, feeling, thinking, reading, walking, dressing, etc. like her ideal self, she indeed comes to NATURALLY believe she has ALREADY realized her desire, and that is precisely the point where everything in life accelerates mysteriously into sublime manifestation.

In other words, what blocks people is rarely the DESIRE, because we all know what we truly want (even though we try to hide it from ourselves and from others for fear that explicitly knowing what we want would "force" us to go after it, thereby risking failure and disappointment).

What blocks people is the lack of a certain imagination which would enable them to BELIEVE they are already what they want themselves to be. Einstein thus rightly says that imagination is more important than intelligence.

Intelligence can only be about what is known, that is, the past.

Imagination is about the future, or the unknown. Imaginative people therefore are, by definition, fearless people who venture into the unknown. Once this state of fearlessness is achieved, nothing is impossible in life.

Peter Nguyen
Serial entrepreneur, partner, editor in chief
CareerKnowledge.net
PowerKnowledge.net