Are you losing or winning?
John McEnroe is famous for saying "Winning or losing doesn't matter... until you lose."
Nobody wants to lose. It feels wrong. Winning, on the other hand, feels great.
The fact is, most people are not losers. Most people, I think, are doing their best so as NOT to lose.
However, the fact that you are not losing doesn't mean you are winning. It's like most team sports: the fact that the opponent hasn't scored against you, doesn't mean you have scored against them.
So most people find themselves in a zone where they are neither losing nor winning. If they were in fact winning, they would be writing a book or giving seminars and workshops.
The question "Are you winning or losing?" can more appropriately be rephrased as "Are you moving in the direction of ultimate victory?"
To answer that question, you first have to determine WHERE you are right now.
To help you do that, I created the following "pyramid" of victory. Please note that a similar pyramid can be used for evaluating one's social life, romantic life, etc.
I also make the distinction between "work" (what you do to pay the bills) and "Work" (your calling or the special work you were meant to do in this life).
At levels 7 to 9, there is "negative pressure" to do something. People don't want the pain (lack of purchasing power, low social status, etc.) so they are naturally driven to move up the pyramid.
At levels 1 to 5, there is "positive pressure" to do something. People want the pleasure or the payoff, so they are motivated naturally to do something to move up the pyramid.
Level 6 is the only level where there is the great danger of losing one's life. Indeed, many people get so comfortable with their professional routine that they don't notice the passing of years until it's too late. One day, they wake up and realize they spent the last 10 or 20 years at a job they hate or don't feel any passion for.
It is better to look ahead with foresight, than to look back with regret.
The thing with many people at level 6 is that unfortunately, they have stopped their personal growth. The only thing growing is their bank account.
These folks definitely need help. If the help doesn't come from a friend or relative or colleague who cares enough to ask a blunt question ("What are you trying to achieve in life?"), then it will come from Life itself. For instance, one day, something major will happen -- the death of a loved one, an accident, a medical diagnosis, etc. That's when the person realizes that there is one truth that permeates all of life, one truth that human beings should keep in mind even though it's not a pleasant truth:
Life ends.
The above statement is deceptively simple. It has a simple subject and a simple verb. Yet, anyone who remembers that truth will always live every moment fully, and will always seek to have the best in life. He/she will not just do everything to avoid losing, he/she will ALSO do everything it takes to win.
Ultimately, life is short. It should be sweet!
Yet life is only sweet for those who dared to think big and dream big. Indeed, the best in life is reserved for those who have decided, once and for all, that they will not settle for anything but the very best.
Nobody wants to lose. It feels wrong. Winning, on the other hand, feels great.
The fact is, most people are not losers. Most people, I think, are doing their best so as NOT to lose.
However, the fact that you are not losing doesn't mean you are winning. It's like most team sports: the fact that the opponent hasn't scored against you, doesn't mean you have scored against them.
So most people find themselves in a zone where they are neither losing nor winning. If they were in fact winning, they would be writing a book or giving seminars and workshops.
The question "Are you winning or losing?" can more appropriately be rephrased as "Are you moving in the direction of ultimate victory?"
To answer that question, you first have to determine WHERE you are right now.
To help you do that, I created the following "pyramid" of victory. Please note that a similar pyramid can be used for evaluating one's social life, romantic life, etc.
I also make the distinction between "work" (what you do to pay the bills) and "Work" (your calling or the special work you were meant to do in this life).
- Employed in Work and helping others find their Work --> Winning big!
- Employed in Work where one controls economic drivers (that is, one can increase income by increasing outcome; this is Work-BMW!) --> Winning more and more!
- Employed in Work --> Winning!
- Employed in work that falls within Work --> Not losing, and preparing to win
- Unemployed but engaged in search for Work --> Not losing (if have sufficient savings) and preparing to win (coach required to speed up the ICF and NPP processes)
- Employed in work that falls outside of Work --> Not losing (but also not winning) DANGEROUS SITUATION! Could be an addiction lasting a lifetime!
- Unemployed but packaging one's human capital & searching for work --> Losing, but preparing calmly to get OUT of losing
- Unemployed & searching for (menial) work --> Losing and wants a quick way out (premature commitment, too few options)
- Unemployed and happily watching infomercials --> Permanently losing DANGEROUS SITUATION! Must act urgently!
At levels 7 to 9, there is "negative pressure" to do something. People don't want the pain (lack of purchasing power, low social status, etc.) so they are naturally driven to move up the pyramid.
At levels 1 to 5, there is "positive pressure" to do something. People want the pleasure or the payoff, so they are motivated naturally to do something to move up the pyramid.
Level 6 is the only level where there is the great danger of losing one's life. Indeed, many people get so comfortable with their professional routine that they don't notice the passing of years until it's too late. One day, they wake up and realize they spent the last 10 or 20 years at a job they hate or don't feel any passion for.
It is better to look ahead with foresight, than to look back with regret.
The thing with many people at level 6 is that unfortunately, they have stopped their personal growth. The only thing growing is their bank account.
These folks definitely need help. If the help doesn't come from a friend or relative or colleague who cares enough to ask a blunt question ("What are you trying to achieve in life?"), then it will come from Life itself. For instance, one day, something major will happen -- the death of a loved one, an accident, a medical diagnosis, etc. That's when the person realizes that there is one truth that permeates all of life, one truth that human beings should keep in mind even though it's not a pleasant truth:
Life ends.
The above statement is deceptively simple. It has a simple subject and a simple verb. Yet, anyone who remembers that truth will always live every moment fully, and will always seek to have the best in life. He/she will not just do everything to avoid losing, he/she will ALSO do everything it takes to win.
Ultimately, life is short. It should be sweet!
Yet life is only sweet for those who dared to think big and dream big. Indeed, the best in life is reserved for those who have decided, once and for all, that they will not settle for anything but the very best.
posted by Super Peter at 12:04 PM
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