Reconceptualize your fears to overcome them!

In the mid 90s, I was studying management at McGill University and had to do several oral presentations of group projects.

I've never been afraid of public speaking, but it was not exactly an activity that I enjoyed doing. So one day, I stumbled upon an insight: what if I "conceptually reengineered" this activity and turned it into something that I love doing?

This is when I decided to treat oral presentations as opportunities to use my comedy writing skills and to launch my mini-career as a standup comic.

For instance, during a presentation in my Services Marketing course, I talked about a dental clinic: "You know, a dental clinic is not exactly a destination resort. Nobody looks forward to the experience of going to the dentist because it might involve PAIN! You just want to go in there, get the job done, and get out as fast as you can. It's basically like university."

Not only did I enjoy the laughter I got from the audience (and, of course, there are many pretty girls in all my classes), but I also enjoyed the process of precisely scripting the presentation so as to properly set up the joke and powerfully deliver the punch line.

I mention this example because public speaking seems to be Fear #1 for most people.

Unless a person masters this fear, which is quite irrational, she will always fail to realize her full potential.

No matter what you fear is, there is always a way to mentally reengineer a way to look at it so that you enjoy the activity.

Indeed, in life, the fear never comes from other people or situations or events or objects. It comes from you. From your own mind. Fear is created by a certain way of thinking.

In short, your thoughts -- when mismanaged -- are creating the fears that resonate all over your body and make you tremble. Master your thoughts and the fear disappears.

Anthony Robbins came up with this acronym to explain what F.E.A.R. really is: False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear appears real because our minds make it real! Fear doesn't exist per se, it's just a projection of a person's mind onto a screen.

Selling is another activity that most people, somehow, are afraid of.

So a good way to "conceptually repackage" selling is to view it as "helping someone to buy."

Give the prospect detailed, accurate and factual information. Make her feel good about herself. Show support for her goals. Give her options. Casually demonstrate your capabilities while gently proposing ideas that could help her experience more out of life -- more fun, more pleasure, more money, more satisfaction, more fulfillment.

Wait a minute, this sounds A LOT like what I usually do on a date! ;-)

Come to think of it, selling is a lot like dating. When a woman accepts to have dinner with me, she is implicitly saying: "Peter, you're very persuasive so I accept to go out with you but you realize, of course, that my sharing food with you in an atmosphere obviously designed to put me in the right mood, does not in any way, shape or form, imply that we'll necessarily end up naked in bed at the end of the evening."

It is thus my "job" to build up momentum so that she, well, ahem, you know. :-)

Anyways, my point is that there is always a way to reconsider and reengineer how you view life, and specific situations in life, so that you feel empowered -- not fearful.

In an upcoming post, I'll talk about "conscious fears" vs "unconscious fears."