True self and true love
And now, finally, after having written up over 300 postings on this blog, I am finally ready (more or less, that is) to address the ultimate issue of Love.
Yes, this blog is about success, but success is completely meaningless without love.
First, a true story. Two Spanish young men, slightly drunk but still socially pleasant, were talking aloud in the metro station. One said, with his right index finger pointing in the air: "Ah, la femme, il faut l'aimer ! Il faut l'aimer ! ... Mais ATTENTION, elle peut te detruire !!"
English translation: "Ah! Women! We men must love them! ... But watch out, they can destroy us!!"
What I noticed was that ALL the women on that train, from 16 years of age to 50, had a big smile on their face. It was the sort of smile that acknowledged the awesome truth expressed by the Spanish young man.
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Now, a quote by Saint Augustine: "The measure of love is to love without measure."
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Next, an insight I recently had: A man can protect a woman, but only a woman can save a man.
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Finally, a simple yet powerful statement uttered by Forest Gump, after he realized his childhood sweetheart Jenny won't marry him: "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
All the above only goes to show that there are so many ways to approach the topic of love. It is so mysterious that it's impossible for anyone to provide sensible advice to a young person who wants to know more about love.
My personal experience tells me that the search for true love somehow goes on in parallel with the search for one's true self.
Is it possible to find true love if you haven't first found your true self? I don't know the answer.
But I've seen many men focus too much on money or material possessions, and then what happens is that they attract exactly the sort of women who need a lot of material possessions. The relationship is more transactional than transformational. But of course, who am I to judge, and besides, one never knows how a relationship will turn out.
On the opposite end, there are men who pursue their passion without planning for a financial future that would satisfy all the needs of their wives and children. That doesn't seem responsible either.
Perhaps only after we have found our true self can we then offer ourselves wholeheartedly to the other person. Perhaps we should work on ourselves before we go "out there" and engage in hectic dating activities like "speed dating" (which seems so inhumane!).
Online dating websites also don't seem very appealing. My argument is that if your own friends and family don't introduce you to members of the opposite sex, then perhaps you have a bigger problem than "dating opportunities."
Of course, I don't want to be close-minded, so if online match-making works for people, well, more power to them and my best wishes for romantic success!
But one thing's for sure: a person who knows who he/she is, and what he/she wants in life, is always more attractive than someone who doesn't.
I used to be quite confused about what I wanted to do in life, and trust me, I saw the slightly confused look on women's face and it was obvious they were wondering whether they should keep seeing me!
In the end, I think it is best to first look for one's true self, and then look for one's true love.
That is, a person could search for a Self Mate instead of a Soul Mate. Looking for a soul mate is hard. I mean, what is a "soul" anyways?
A Self Mate means someone who understands who you are and what you stand for. Of course, this means that if you haven't found yourself, a good idea would be to start looking for your true self first!
I don't think it's necessary to have actually found your true self, but it's better if you're already on the way to becoming your true self.
The tragedy is that if I'm right -- that one cannot find one's true love unless one first finds one's true self -- then there are people who will never experience true love, for the simple reason that they haven't made the courageous decision to search for their true nature and their authentic self.
Yes, this blog is about success, but success is completely meaningless without love.
First, a true story. Two Spanish young men, slightly drunk but still socially pleasant, were talking aloud in the metro station. One said, with his right index finger pointing in the air: "Ah, la femme, il faut l'aimer ! Il faut l'aimer ! ... Mais ATTENTION, elle peut te detruire !!"
English translation: "Ah! Women! We men must love them! ... But watch out, they can destroy us!!"
What I noticed was that ALL the women on that train, from 16 years of age to 50, had a big smile on their face. It was the sort of smile that acknowledged the awesome truth expressed by the Spanish young man.
---
Now, a quote by Saint Augustine: "The measure of love is to love without measure."
---
Next, an insight I recently had: A man can protect a woman, but only a woman can save a man.
---
Finally, a simple yet powerful statement uttered by Forest Gump, after he realized his childhood sweetheart Jenny won't marry him: "I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
All the above only goes to show that there are so many ways to approach the topic of love. It is so mysterious that it's impossible for anyone to provide sensible advice to a young person who wants to know more about love.
My personal experience tells me that the search for true love somehow goes on in parallel with the search for one's true self.
Is it possible to find true love if you haven't first found your true self? I don't know the answer.
But I've seen many men focus too much on money or material possessions, and then what happens is that they attract exactly the sort of women who need a lot of material possessions. The relationship is more transactional than transformational. But of course, who am I to judge, and besides, one never knows how a relationship will turn out.
On the opposite end, there are men who pursue their passion without planning for a financial future that would satisfy all the needs of their wives and children. That doesn't seem responsible either.
Perhaps only after we have found our true self can we then offer ourselves wholeheartedly to the other person. Perhaps we should work on ourselves before we go "out there" and engage in hectic dating activities like "speed dating" (which seems so inhumane!).
Online dating websites also don't seem very appealing. My argument is that if your own friends and family don't introduce you to members of the opposite sex, then perhaps you have a bigger problem than "dating opportunities."
Of course, I don't want to be close-minded, so if online match-making works for people, well, more power to them and my best wishes for romantic success!
But one thing's for sure: a person who knows who he/she is, and what he/she wants in life, is always more attractive than someone who doesn't.
I used to be quite confused about what I wanted to do in life, and trust me, I saw the slightly confused look on women's face and it was obvious they were wondering whether they should keep seeing me!
In the end, I think it is best to first look for one's true self, and then look for one's true love.
That is, a person could search for a Self Mate instead of a Soul Mate. Looking for a soul mate is hard. I mean, what is a "soul" anyways?
A Self Mate means someone who understands who you are and what you stand for. Of course, this means that if you haven't found yourself, a good idea would be to start looking for your true self first!
I don't think it's necessary to have actually found your true self, but it's better if you're already on the way to becoming your true self.
The tragedy is that if I'm right -- that one cannot find one's true love unless one first finds one's true self -- then there are people who will never experience true love, for the simple reason that they haven't made the courageous decision to search for their true nature and their authentic self.
posted by Super Peter at 11:25 PM
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