Your friends and family may rob millions of dollars from you
Most cases of sexual assault and date rape occur when a woman is assaulted by a man she knows. Children are also abused by people in the family or someone they know well.
Psychologically, intellectually and economically, the situation might also be the same: those who are close to us often do us great harm. The only difference is that unlike cases of overt physical or sexual abuse, this "milder" sort of assault is not intentional -- in most cases. Even if it may seem intentional, it is often so only at the subconscious level.
Yes, I am indeed saying that loved ones CAN damage your self-esteem as well as your hopes and dreams.
For instance, friends, relatives and even parents might have such negative mindsets that everything coming out of their mouths will hurt people around them. If you share your dream with someone who's negative, that person might be "skillful" enough to destroy your dream and hope -- after only five minutes of conversation. Never underestimate the power of negative thinking and speaking, especially when it comes from someone you think cares about you.
In my case, I'm rarely "abused" by other people's opinion because I don't value it so much. I socially respect other people's opinions, but not intellectually. There are about only 3 or 4 people whose intellectual judgment I respect.
The people who have the greatest influence on a person's psychological and intellectual development are parents. In 99.9% of cases, parents truly have at heart the psychological health and intellectual growth of their children. What is admirable is that parents who have not gone through university, are often more determined than university-educated parents in encouraging their kids to complete university studies. They will make the required sacrifices to give their children the best chances for achieving happiness in life.
Assuming that you're an adult who's rational and can independently make decisions about your life, is it possible for loved ones to hurt you psychologically, intellectually or economically?
Well, if you read a few books on psychology (by Dr Phil or Abraham Maslow, etc.), you can easily figure out why people say what they say or behave as they do toward you. As Marianne Williamson wrote in her book A Return to Love, people who express themselves either offer love or ask for help.
People who offer love, are rarely the problem. They praise, encourage and support anyone who comes within earshot! Now, with Facebook, Skype, email, etc. they can praise, encourage and support people anywhere on the planet!
They are generally nice to be with, and they have a lot of friends on Facebook. Important note: I don't have a lot of friends on Facebook BUT that's because I just started and don't know how to use it properly! (In my own defense, may I mention I have over 570+ connections on Linkedin). :-)
The problem, alas, lies with people who ask for help. They need help and attention from others, and their way of "asking for help" is to be negative, nasty, manipulative.
They are not bad people. Even if they really were bad people, let's remember what Oscar Wilde once wrote: "Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future."
In other words, let's not judge people. Even God will wait till the end of a life before He makes a judgment!
However, not judging people doesn't mean that one should let other people judge us.
In general, other people are as non-judgmental as you are. If they were really judgmental, you would find out fairly quickly, because you would painfully feel their "glaring light of disapproval" in regards to your choice of a lifestyle or job or girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse. As a result, you would not hang around very often with them.
However, there is one case where other people (who are close to you) will judge you, and neither you nor them will be aware that this judgment is taking place.
This is the covert, intangible, invisible judgment that people have about your intellectual capabilities which directly determine your financial future.
Oftentimes, people's judgment of your intellectual capabilities reflects their own self-evaluation rather than a rigorous evaluation of your true capabilities.
Concretely, what this means is that to the extent that someone has successfully "convinced" you that you are not smart enough to become a millionaire, then that person might have robbed you of millions of dollars. Perhaps this is why they say that "no one is a prophet in his own country." Perhaps this is also why people from small towns who move to the big city experience success that totally baffles people in their hometown!
(to be continued)
Psychologically, intellectually and economically, the situation might also be the same: those who are close to us often do us great harm. The only difference is that unlike cases of overt physical or sexual abuse, this "milder" sort of assault is not intentional -- in most cases. Even if it may seem intentional, it is often so only at the subconscious level.
Yes, I am indeed saying that loved ones CAN damage your self-esteem as well as your hopes and dreams.
For instance, friends, relatives and even parents might have such negative mindsets that everything coming out of their mouths will hurt people around them. If you share your dream with someone who's negative, that person might be "skillful" enough to destroy your dream and hope -- after only five minutes of conversation. Never underestimate the power of negative thinking and speaking, especially when it comes from someone you think cares about you.
In my case, I'm rarely "abused" by other people's opinion because I don't value it so much. I socially respect other people's opinions, but not intellectually. There are about only 3 or 4 people whose intellectual judgment I respect.
The people who have the greatest influence on a person's psychological and intellectual development are parents. In 99.9% of cases, parents truly have at heart the psychological health and intellectual growth of their children. What is admirable is that parents who have not gone through university, are often more determined than university-educated parents in encouraging their kids to complete university studies. They will make the required sacrifices to give their children the best chances for achieving happiness in life.
Assuming that you're an adult who's rational and can independently make decisions about your life, is it possible for loved ones to hurt you psychologically, intellectually or economically?
Well, if you read a few books on psychology (by Dr Phil or Abraham Maslow, etc.), you can easily figure out why people say what they say or behave as they do toward you. As Marianne Williamson wrote in her book A Return to Love, people who express themselves either offer love or ask for help.
People who offer love, are rarely the problem. They praise, encourage and support anyone who comes within earshot! Now, with Facebook, Skype, email, etc. they can praise, encourage and support people anywhere on the planet!
They are generally nice to be with, and they have a lot of friends on Facebook. Important note: I don't have a lot of friends on Facebook BUT that's because I just started and don't know how to use it properly! (In my own defense, may I mention I have over 570+ connections on Linkedin). :-)
The problem, alas, lies with people who ask for help. They need help and attention from others, and their way of "asking for help" is to be negative, nasty, manipulative.
They are not bad people. Even if they really were bad people, let's remember what Oscar Wilde once wrote: "Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future."
In other words, let's not judge people. Even God will wait till the end of a life before He makes a judgment!
However, not judging people doesn't mean that one should let other people judge us.
In general, other people are as non-judgmental as you are. If they were really judgmental, you would find out fairly quickly, because you would painfully feel their "glaring light of disapproval" in regards to your choice of a lifestyle or job or girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse. As a result, you would not hang around very often with them.
However, there is one case where other people (who are close to you) will judge you, and neither you nor them will be aware that this judgment is taking place.
This is the covert, intangible, invisible judgment that people have about your intellectual capabilities which directly determine your financial future.
Oftentimes, people's judgment of your intellectual capabilities reflects their own self-evaluation rather than a rigorous evaluation of your true capabilities.
Concretely, what this means is that to the extent that someone has successfully "convinced" you that you are not smart enough to become a millionaire, then that person might have robbed you of millions of dollars. Perhaps this is why they say that "no one is a prophet in his own country." Perhaps this is also why people from small towns who move to the big city experience success that totally baffles people in their hometown!
(to be continued)
posted by Super Peter at 12:31 AM
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